These before-and-after examples will give you an
idea of how plain English works.
All "before" examples were borrowed (and sometimes
modified) from those given on the Plain Language
Action and Information Network website. I wrote the
"after" examples for my own use—they
are not agency rewrites.
Confusing:
If proof of your claim is not received before
September 1st, benefits, if entitlement is
established, cannot be paid before the date of
receipt of the evidence.
Understandable: If you are entitled to the
benefits you are asking for, we will pay your claim,
but we cannot begin this process until you send us
the proof we requested. Please send us proof of your
claim by September 1st.
Ambiguous:
Notification and evacuation are to have priority
over attempts by untrained personnel to combat the
emergency.
Clear:
If you are not trained to handle this emergency,
notify someone who is and then help evacuate the
area. This is more important than trying to handle
the emergency by yourself.
Rambling:
In order to avoid possible liability, all conditions
of the outgoing loan between lender and borrower
must be agreed to by a signed outgoing loan
agreement prior to the initiation of the outgoing
loan.
Succinct:
Before you can borrow an item, you must sign an
agreement that describes the terms of the loan and
explains who will be responsible for the item you
borrow.
